2010: My Predictions …

Predictions for 2010

Everyone else with a Blog seems to write-up some Predictions for  the New Year, so here are mine: (stay tuned, this list may change and I’ll link to some lists that I find fun to read as 2010 approaches.)   (Like this one: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123051100709638419.html http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123051100709638419.html )

Market trends:

There will be an upsurge in the sale of calendars and appointment books around January 1.

The stock market will rise and fall several times, demanding reports and analysis on National Public Television and various blog sites.

There will be curbside recycling and composting and movements toward reducing garbage in landfills in many cities except those with extremely conservative political values. Everyone else will be doing Good Things for the Earth and saving a lot of money on garbage collection in the process.

A group of promoters, musicians, and actors will jump n the 2012 bandwagon with a hugely promoted “Save the Earth” concert.  It will be broadcast live on cable pay purview.  Parts of this concert will be re-broadcast on VHS and during PBS pledge drives endlessly.

Interactive hand-held devices that resemble telephones will become more flexible and will add “augmented reality aps” of many kinds both useful and frivolous.  However, they will still be subject to dropped calls and exorbitant monthly fees.

National and local politics:

Al Gore will announce that he is – again – not running for office  nor will he be elected. Gavin Newsom will not be re-elected as mayor of San Francisco.  Jerry Brown will not be elected to the Governorship of California.  Regardless of recently passed referendums, the CA State Legislature will fail to pass a budget in June 2010.  Congress will raise tariffs and various other fees in lieu of raising taxes.  Sarah Palin will make a play for higher office, then retire from public life for “family reasons”.

The US will continue its presence on Iraq & Afghanistan, this will become The Story of the progressive press of 2010 as anti-war protests escalate.  Sometime in 2011, the US troops will exit these countries, leaving behind a mess that will take years to clean up.  There will be reports on Frontline, 60 Minutes, and the BBC regarding this mess.

Congress will continue to block  Health Care.  If we are lucky, this will cause a voter’s revolt, if not, we will not re-elect Obama and will also miss out of Health Care reform for another 10 years.  (Not to mention loosing a fine president!)

After an oddly out-of-season climatic happening will  ruin tobacco crops in a southern state, a Conservative Someone in Congress will notice that the Arctic is melting and that Something Should Be Done About This, will give a speech wondering Why Doesn’t Anyone Know About This State of Affairs?  A Congressional Inquiry will commence.

After oil and fuel prices rise in February, conservatives in the House will escalate pressure to open the North Slope of Alaska and the California coast line for oil drilling.

Fashion:

Women will wear hats, scarves, dresses, skirts, pants, shirts, blouses, socks, tights, and shoes. Generally, women will wear undergarments.  White will be declared the new “red”, black the new “yellow”, gray the new “orange”.  Silk will become the most popular fabric for one’s “good dresses”, cotton for those “worn everyday”, wools and linens for “business clothes”.  Younger women will not dress for the weather, older women will.  The “tea dress” will return in a fairy exotic form.  Unfortunately, NY designers will continue to design for 16 year old anorexics and will continue the appalling trend of attempting to bring back the Jackie Kennedy years.

There will be a fad in Los Angeles, New York, Paris, Tokyo, and London among teenagers for wearing ceramic vampire fangs.  After a sensationalist report on a teen in Beverly Hills who bites his girlfriend’s jugular, sending her to the emergency room for blood loss and causing her to sue,  there will be a series of reports on this fad on the national news focusing on the health issues involved in attempting to drink blood, animal and human.  Various experts on teen fads, psychologists, clergy, concerned parents, sociologists, pediatricians, attorneys, and celebrity pundits as well as  the producers and cast members of “True Blood”, “New Moon”,  “Being Human”,  and the prime-time network spin-offs will be interviewed.  This story will take up far too much air time.

In the wake of this media frenzy, various  media “Goths” will surprise their fans, friends, and relations by declaring that yellow is the new black and occasionally smiling.

(Thank Goddess!) Men will improve their sartorial style by adopting the clothing of the late 19th century.  Haberdasheries and tailors will become the next “Big Thing”.   Special watch fobs will be designed to hook cell phone and i-pods onto and kept in vest pockets.  The neck scarf, the stick pin, and the walking stick will make a comeback.  The men of Berkeley (CA) will – under great duress and with a lot of complaining, some of which will involve the words, “consumerism”, “the fascist clothing industry”, “Al Gore”,  “Hegel”, and “Marx”, begin wearing socks that match their pants with actual shoes on their feet.

New age shops will sell garish gold and black t-shirts that say, “Can’t Wait For 2012!” with the Mayan Calendar, Kokopeli, the Neolithic Bird Goddess, The Green Man, and the planet Earth prominently displayed.  Crystal earrings with 2012 etched into the crystal will become popular at  street fairs, new age conferences, and other gatherings.

Popular culture and media:

The Rolling Stones, Paul McCartney and the remaining Grateful Dead members will tour “one last time”.  So will Bowie, Prince, and James Taylor.  Yes will have a reunion tour.  PBS will air video of the concerts during Pledge Week.

Internet streaming TV will become the next Big Thing, causing a revolution in computer monitor manufacturing and sending Cable providers scrambling.

Interactive “social living” games will become an increasingly popular pass-time on the Internet.

There will be a lot of hype concerning the upcoming Olympics:

The residents of Vancouver, London, & Rio will complain a lot on Twitter, Facebook, Blog sites, the BBC, the CBC, NBC, ABC, CBS, CNN, MacNeil/Lehrer,  radio “news breaks”, and on other media outlets about the hype concerning the Olympics, the expense concerning the upcoming Olympics, the inconvenience of the upcoming Olympics, and generally curmudgeonly grousing will commence. Particularly concerning the delays in traffic during commute hours and the  added security measures by the host cities.

Pacifica Radio will air an hour long report regarding the curtailing of free speech of activists in the above cities during the Olympics.

In London, there will be a report concerning Morris dancers performing in Trafalgar Square on opening night of the Olympics, this will largely go unnoticed by the British media and Pacifica Radio.  However, NBC will interrupt the soccer matches to report 9n this event and a young boy in Ohio will be enchanted and beg to join a Morris Side, thus driving his parents crazy.  Also because of this report, Sony will distribute A Life With Bells On in US art houses.

A number of residents of the above cities will express the opposite viewpoint, boasting of the great time they are having to one and all.

A number of other residents of the above cities will go on vacation in Paris and San Francisco.  They will rent their condos, houses, and apartments at astonishingly high amounts to the attendees of the up-coming Olympics.  This will go without notice in most of the media.  While in Paris and San Francisco these residents will complain about the Olympics “ruining” their city.

The residents of Paris and San Francisco will complain about tourists.

Education, Employment, and Career Tracks:

Grammar and spelling will continue its slow demise – eventually – English will be come virtually unreadable and the grammarian will become a much sought after Person of Import. (OK – this may take longer than one year.)

The job scene will improve in some areas, and worsen in others – especially in K-12 education and higher ed.  Most people will be blind to the problems in higher ed, stating that “I worked my way through college, so the kids can too.  Those useless academics can get Real Jobs like mine. Man, I had this prof.  in college who made my life miserable…”

And … covering all the bases:

There will be the usual number of natural disasters, including earthquakes, hurricanes, famine, floods, plagues, hostile take overs, military insurrections, rebellions, toppling of governments, a couple assignations, and forest fires in Australia, California, Colorado, and Africa during the dry season.

NASA will announce a new Mars Mission, the photos from Hubble will be inspiring and various new discoveries will amaze one and all.

Neither The Cubs, The Oakland A’s,  The SF Giants, or the Seattle Mariners will  play in the World Series.  The California Golden Bears will not play in the Rose Bowl, and neither the SF 49ers or The Raiders will  be in the Superbowl.

For me, personally:

I will be offered the job of my dreams in January 2010 and one of my plays will hit Broadway early in 2011 and will be far too busy to spend a lot of time on the Internet or watching sports on television.

But, I will get tickets to that predicted (by me) reunion concert of Yes, see A Life With Bells On and travel to see my mother in Seattle at least once in 2010.

There you have it.

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